Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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