I love black thongs
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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