After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
