You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize