She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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