i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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