If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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