people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
