It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I deserve this hangover.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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