he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
