Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
