DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
