Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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