one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
