we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize