awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
