Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
