question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
