U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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