IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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