just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I think pants incapable of making pants work
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
