When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
