Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
