Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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