I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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