So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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