I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
well most of my day revolves around power hour
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
