Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
