mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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