Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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