We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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