Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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