I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
