what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Sorry about my life...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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