he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Randomize
