I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Someone shattered a urinal.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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