I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
