I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
