That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
