whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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