My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize