I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize