If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
