Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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