Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Acid is not a monday night drug
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
