did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
