is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
