either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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