Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
the liver wants what the liver wants
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
