so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
