I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
