need another drink. this is the easiest way
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
