if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
