He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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