What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
